Kelly's Worst Nightmare / One of the Best Days of My Life!!!

It's true folks, the Hunt family now owns a chainsaw.  Behold, the Stihl MS 250!!! 

After having a large tree in our front yard split across our driveway and road with the snow late last month, we (meaning I, but to some degree, Kelly) decided that it would be good to have a chainsaw in case one of the many large trees in our yard decided to fall across the driveway again, or the car/house.  This is quite the upgrade from the pruning saws I've been using the last year or so.  Not that you can't get a lot done with these little saws, but the level of effort spent cutting up a tree with them leaves, at least me, with an odd feeling of wanting to vomit and pass out at the same time (which I unfortunately experienced a lot last Summer clearing our front yard). 

Anyway, unfortunately the joy that I have over the chainsaw purchase is offset by Kelly's (understandable) fear of her husband using it.  Because of her fear, and the owner's manual, I've decided to name the saw "Warning" because, well, just look at a very typical page from the manual...

I feel like handguns don't come with this many warnings in the owner's manual.  After browsing through, there really aren't any instructions in the manual, but rather just a series of warnings strung together to produce a 75 page volume.  Interestingly enough, one section that doesn't get a warning label on it is in the page copied below...

Take a look at the figure in the upper-right hand corner of the page...I have a hard time taking an instruction manual seriously when one of the two "recommended" starting options involves putting the saw between your legs and pulling the starter.  I think this section was accidentally taken from instructions for "how to punch yourself in the junk."

If EVER there was reason to put a warning in a manual, it's for the old "crotch start."  Want to know what's not such a great idea - putting a CHAINSAW between your legs, and then pulling a cord upwards.  Yikes!!!  Maybe the MS in MS 250 stood for some type of ladies model that I accidentally purchased, but for the fellas, this just isn't an option.

Once the snow melts, Warning will make his first yard appearance, and will thankfully be started while firmly planted on the ground.