Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Pregnancy Rules of Engagment

Well, it's been a while since we've blogged.  I'm sure you've been crying yourself to sleep at night waiting for another post and that you've been especially sad that the Redskins previews have been nonexistent.....

So, here is one post, courtesy of Kelly. :)  After (hopefully -- any day now baby!) being at the end of my second pregnancy, I thought I would share some thoughts and general ground rules about how to deal with pregnant women.  The stupid, inappropriate, and inconsiderate comments and actions that occur while pregnant can be downright shocking. Just today a random woman at the grocery store asked me when my babies were due and did not believe me when I told her there was only one because, as she said, I look really big (well, I am due in 3 days!).  It is difficult sometimes to know how to respond to these people, who might be well-intentioned, might be just trying to make conversation, or might just be nosy people.  So, I have formulated five simple rules.  I would have thought that most of these are common sense, but after two pregnancies, I realize that clearly, common sense sometimes goes out the window when people are dealing with a pregnant woman.  So, now, the moment you've all been waiting for.


THE PREGNANCY RULES OF ENGAGEMENT


1) NEVER assume you know when the baby is due if you haven't been told. Always just ask when the due date is.  This avoids the awkward, "so you're eight months pregnant" when she's only five.
2) NEVER assume it is twins or multiples unless you have been told!  Good gosh, the rate of multiples is not that high!
3) NEVER touch a woman's belly without asking, and even then, you should probably know her pretty well before you ask.
4) NEVER tell a woman she looks huge, big, gigantic, large, immense, etc.  Trust me, she feels big and doesn't need anyone telling her that!  Never in her life will she gain 20-50 lbs in only about 7 months!
5) If you have ANY DOUBT in your head at all about the tact of the question or comment you are about to say to a pregnant woman, JUST DON'T SAY ANYTHING.

I know there are numerous other awful things that have been said and done to pregnant women, but of the people I've talked to, this seems to be a good starting point.  One thing that has also been interesting this pregnancy, since we're having a boy, is all the people who say, "You're husband must sure be happy you're having a boy" -- as if Chris would be upset if we were having another girl.  As a girl, I honestly don't know how to react to that!  But I haven't come up with a good all encompassing rule for that one besides #5 :).  So, people of the world, go forth and interact in a smart, kind way with all the pregnant women you encounter!

3 comments:

  1. Good post! I'd also like to add: Don't tell the pregnant woman the sex of her baby. I got this all the time: "So, it must be a boy because you're carrying low/high/out/whatever." "No," I'd say, it's a girl." Then they'd look at me like I must be wrong. Would they like to come with me for the next sonogram??

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  2. Well said! :) This reminded me of this post I wrote when I was only 6 months pregnant and already getting tons of rude comments. You might get a good laugh out of it.

    http://bump2bum.blogspot.com/2009/04/awkwardness.html

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  3. Melissa and Anna, thanks for the comments! With Harper I was told repeatedly it was a boy (we didn't know, but I would always reply that they had a 50% chance of being right :)). Melissa I especially liked your post about the weight gain which I have also been asked -- people are crazy!! I should incorporate that into rule 4!

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