The rep was nice enough, but the time really seemed to drag along as he went through binders and binders (literally) of information. It was almost like one Window Nation minute was twice as slow as a good ole USA minute. Oh wait...that's because it was! Along with the two binders of information we also received an elaborate demonstration of how certain glass blocks UV rays, and were amazed by the "the more panes of glass you have, the more heat/cold you stop from getting into your house" theorem. We even got to feel the special caulk that they used - I tried not to touch the caulk at first (I mean honestly, touch the caulk?), but it seemed to be a gateway we had to pass through to get to the next part of the presentation, so I touched. And it felt like...caulk! We were clocking around 2 hours (by comparison, the current marathon world record stands at 2:03.59) at this point.
Around this time my mom and sister came over (they were going to watch Harper so Kelly and I could go out to dinner), and Harper was not willing to sit quietly and listen to the window man do his talky talk, so Kelly deftly left the room to spend time with them. Now, when John McCain was a POW in Vietnam, and was offered a chance to leave his awful bondage, he declined out of a gesture of solidarity with his fellow prisioners. Kelly was no John McCain...but on the other hand, had the tables been reversed, neither would I! "Via Con Dios, Window Nation!" [Kelly is adding in here, "It was your idea to get this estimate Chris, so you get to pay the price of listening to the full propaganda presentation."]
With Kelly gone, the salesman shifted tactics a bit, with the big price discussion (finally) looming. Gone were demonstrations of windows opening and closing (yes, even new windows slide up and down), UV ray deflection, and caulk touching - instead, it was time to do a little man to man talking:
WN: "Chris, women are difficult to please - you know how hard it is to make Kelly happy."
Me: (unable to verbalize anything, but thinking, "actually, we communicate pretty well, so I generally know what makes her happy, but thanks for asking.")
WN: I mean, seriously, Kelly isn't going to care what the U-factor of these windows is (not true), how many UV rays they block (also, not true), or how well they're installed (and, we're three for three at this point) - what she cares about is if they look pretty (actually, her lowest overall decision factor, but thanks for playing).
Me: (?) As an aside - I hate it when sales people pull lines like this...believe it or not, there are folks out there who actually really like their spouse! Shocker!
After that painful exchange we (finally) got to the pricing conversation, and the Window Nation diplomat threw this little quote out before sliding the price sheet my way, "I mean, window replacement is a big commitiment - you're going to be spending as much on a car as on these windows...." At this point I'm hoping that that car is one of these...
Rather than one of these...
Despite the fact that we were young homeowners, with one full-time income, a small child, and another soon on the way, Window Nation decided to quote us the price on the "most expensive" (their words, not mine) windows they sell. Not surprisingly, when I looked the quote, the price was listed as $Jetson's Hovercar.
Mercifully, Kelly walked in at this time, and got things moving again. She thanked the rep for quoting the best possible window ever known to modern man, but suggested that he price something lower on the price spectrum. It was awesome - I felt like I knew how John McCain must have felt when he actually got to go home - the cavalry had finally arrived! The price came across the table, much lower, but still in major "ouch" territory. We looked at it, said that we wouldn't make a decision that day, and hoped that was that. Kelly, not wanting to leave my mom and sister, who had now been over a little under an hour, left the room again. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...at least Chuck Norris will be back to get me someday!!!
Anyway, after about 15 minutes of high pressure sales talk, the rep left without having made the sale, clocking in at about 2 hours and 45 minutes.
Let me just say that if Window Nation was a real nation, it would be like Dubai, and everyone would drive a Rolls Royce and have gold plated toilets, and would burn dollar bills in the winter to heat their homes. Oh, wait, that's right, they wouldn't need to do that, because their windows would be so efficient, there would be no need. But as for us, well, if you come over this winter, make sure you dress warmly.
(Harper studying up on some Window Nation propaganda)
Wow. I feel like you should be a reward for surviving that.
ReplyDeleteOne of my friends actually sat through SIX different window presentations before making a decision--torture!